So last Saturday was my 24th birthday. It still hasn't quite sunk in that I am that old. How can I seriously be in my mid-twenties when I still feel 12? I'm determined to have a good year this year. 24 is twice as much as my favorite number so shouldn't the year be twice the fun?
The actual birthday itself was probably one of my best birthdays so far. I spent the morning playing ultimate frisbee--one of the greatest sports known to humankind--then spent the afternoon my best friend. We had a short picnic of sandwiches by a river and then went to a movie. Spending those few hours with him were fantastic. I felt appreciated and loved. He had listened to obscure things I had said the last few weeks and had tried to make all my dreams come true. I had just recently told him I missed the water and that all I wanted to do on my birthday was wear a sundress and spend time outside (a risky wish seeing as it's been snowing this week in New Jersey, but God was kind and the sun came out with a decently warm temperature in the upper 50's). Hence, the picnic by the river. He also knew that I love Nick Frost and Simon Pegg (of Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fame) so we went to see their new movie Paul. He apparently had been researching the movie for a week to make sure it would be something that I would enjoy. I was deeply touched by his thoughtfulness. That alone made my birthday one of the best days of my life. I then went out to dinner with the majority of my closest seminary friends. We ate, drank margaritas and had a great time. The evening ended with cake, ice cream, dancing, and darts in the basement of one of the dorms here. At the end of the night, I was perfectly content. The only thing I could have wanted was for my family and my friends who don't live in the area to have been there. Based off that one night, twenty-four was looking like a great year.
But I'm learning God has quite the sense of humor. The day after my birthday, I came down with a nasty chest cold that has kept me pretty much tethered to my bed for the whole week. And as I mentioned earlier, it has been snowing. Spending hours in bed is not at all how I would have liked to start out a new year, but it's where I am. I am having to life out my year's theme, "Don't worry, be happy" (I was introduced to the tradition of having a theme for each year of life by my friend Megan last year on her birthday) in more ways that I could have expected. But I am learning how to really live this out and be content with whatever circumstances come my way. As much as I hate being sick, it has given me the opportunity to slow down a little bit and to read a book I have been wanting to finish for a long time. I'm just hoping I'm not sick for too much longer so that I can get up and make it to the library to start researching the many papers I have.
I think 24 is going to be a good year. If nothing else, I think I'll learn a lot.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Happiness is...
I spent a beautiful day in New York City with a dear friend on Tuesday and it reminded me of all the great things in my life to give thanks for. During this season of Lent, I am going to practice the discipline of gratitude. I want to use the phrase, "happiness is..." to describe the thing I am thankful for. This may seem slightly misdirected or shallow as happiness shouldn't be the goal of life, but I want to regain a more holistic sense of happiness. Happiness is worshiping God and living in right relation with God and others. So for the next forty days, I'll be defining happiness as I am reminded of all the blessings that I have been given.
Today, happiness is...
-spending a day with a dear friend in a large city
-reconnecting with your inner child
-listening to British folk bands in Central Park
-breakfast with dear friends
-Cadbury eggs
-Say Yes to the Dress
-laughter
Today, happiness is...
-spending a day with a dear friend in a large city
-reconnecting with your inner child
-listening to British folk bands in Central Park
-breakfast with dear friends
-Cadbury eggs
-Say Yes to the Dress
-laughter
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The Dream Giver
A friend of mine asked me tonight, "What is God doing in your life?"
I told him, "I feel that God is reframing the way I see myself and my vocation. I came into seminary with academic aspirations. I had always viewed myself as an academic and wanted to continue in that area. However, upon spending a few months here, I have learned that my heart is passionate about the church. I still want to teach , but I want to do it in the context of the church. God has given me a tender heart that breaks when confronted with the needs of the world. I am often paralyzed by the sheer quantity of hurt and need in the world. I want to help and fix all the world's problems, but as a single individual there is no way I can do that. That is why I love the church. If the church universal can get its act together and start working like the Body of Christ it is, the needs will be met. I am passionate about inspiring people to see themselves as a vital part of the body and empowering them to jump in where they are gifted and needed. I want to teach in the church for spiritual formation and discipleship. That is what I think God is going in my life."
When I finished telling him all of this, he turns to me and says, "That's funny that you mentioned that God is reframing and reshaping your views of self and vocation. That has also been on my mind a lot. Have you ever read 'The Dream Giver'?" I told him I have not. He then proceeded to tell me the story.
Basically, "The Dream Giver" is the story of Nobody, who comes to learn that he is really Somebody. The Dream Giver gives him a dream. He begins to follow the dream. Eventually, the Dream Giver comes back and asks for the dream. Somebody must surrender the dream. This is a painful process as he begins to let go of the thing that had come to shape his identity and be his driving force in life. He finally gives up the dream. The Dream Giver changes it a little bit and gives it back.
My friend told me that he loves this story because it reminds him that God is the Lord of our dreams. God gives us our dreams and passions, but ultimately they belong to God. Sometimes God demands that we give up our dreams. This process is difficult because they often become part of our identity. However, if we are willing to give them up, God will make them into something much better than we could have ever managed.
Seminary for me has been the process of giving up the dream and allowing God to reshape it. It has been painful as I give up a part of my identity. But I am beginning to learn that I am far more excited by the new dream as it begins to take form. I'm still not sure how it will all work out, but I am learning to trust God to make it happen the way God desires. I think I may go buy "The Dream Giver" and read at least once a year to remind myself of this important truth.
I told him, "I feel that God is reframing the way I see myself and my vocation. I came into seminary with academic aspirations. I had always viewed myself as an academic and wanted to continue in that area. However, upon spending a few months here, I have learned that my heart is passionate about the church. I still want to teach , but I want to do it in the context of the church. God has given me a tender heart that breaks when confronted with the needs of the world. I am often paralyzed by the sheer quantity of hurt and need in the world. I want to help and fix all the world's problems, but as a single individual there is no way I can do that. That is why I love the church. If the church universal can get its act together and start working like the Body of Christ it is, the needs will be met. I am passionate about inspiring people to see themselves as a vital part of the body and empowering them to jump in where they are gifted and needed. I want to teach in the church for spiritual formation and discipleship. That is what I think God is going in my life."
When I finished telling him all of this, he turns to me and says, "That's funny that you mentioned that God is reframing and reshaping your views of self and vocation. That has also been on my mind a lot. Have you ever read 'The Dream Giver'?" I told him I have not. He then proceeded to tell me the story.
Basically, "The Dream Giver" is the story of Nobody, who comes to learn that he is really Somebody. The Dream Giver gives him a dream. He begins to follow the dream. Eventually, the Dream Giver comes back and asks for the dream. Somebody must surrender the dream. This is a painful process as he begins to let go of the thing that had come to shape his identity and be his driving force in life. He finally gives up the dream. The Dream Giver changes it a little bit and gives it back.
My friend told me that he loves this story because it reminds him that God is the Lord of our dreams. God gives us our dreams and passions, but ultimately they belong to God. Sometimes God demands that we give up our dreams. This process is difficult because they often become part of our identity. However, if we are willing to give them up, God will make them into something much better than we could have ever managed.
Seminary for me has been the process of giving up the dream and allowing God to reshape it. It has been painful as I give up a part of my identity. But I am beginning to learn that I am far more excited by the new dream as it begins to take form. I'm still not sure how it will all work out, but I am learning to trust God to make it happen the way God desires. I think I may go buy "The Dream Giver" and read at least once a year to remind myself of this important truth.
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