One unfortunate thing I have noticed about living in a small community is that people have the overwhelming tendency to return to their high school behaviors and gossip about each other. The other day, a friend of mine was told that all of the girls on the floor above her were talking about her. In this conversation, she was told that a couple of the girls don't like her simply because a lot of guys pay attention to her. This same friend was told by a guy friend today that early in the year a bunch of guys were sitting together at a meal and decided that she was one of the most attractive girls on campus, but none of them have been man enough to make a move. I think a lot of seminarians need a reminder that this is not high school. That ship has sailed and should never be taken out into open water again. High school is not the summation of life and should not be recreated.
It frustrates me how many people here feel like they have to hide their cross-sex friendships for fear of creating a scandal. I cannot sit with a group of guys at lunch without automatically being interested in one of them. The worst part about all of this, no one is courageous enough to actually ask the people involved what is going on. They simply make assumptions and then spread those assumptions around the school, which takes about two seconds. After hanging out with a guy for more than five minutes, I should be dating him. But will anyone actually ask if that is the truth? Probably not.
What is it about the human condition that drives people to gossip? Why do we love scandal and feel the need to create it where there is none? Why can't we just ask people straight out what is going on?
Don't get me wrong, there is much that I love about being at seminary. I love everyone that I know here. I just hate the tendency to gossip. It is frustrating and creates complication where there should be none. Relationships (friendship, dating, and otherwise) are difficult enough without the added layer of possible scandal put on top.
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