A New Phase of Life

On the ride up to Pearl River, NY with my grandfather, we got into a conversation about life phases. He's wife is currently going through a phase in which the members of her family are beginning to go their separate ways for the holidays. Adult children decide to go to their spouse's family for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Apparently this Thanksgiving will be the smallest that Anne has had in quite some time. During our conversation, it struck me that I am in a new phase of life as well. This is my first Thanksgiving away from home. Granted, this is not really by choice. I can't afford to fly home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. However, the day will come, sooner than I probably think, that I will be choosing to go somewhere other than my family's home for a holiday. I am not so sure I am ready for that.

This being my first Thanksgiving away, I have been struggling with the loss of tradition. I am so used to the way things work at my house on Thanksgiving day. I always get up around 9 or 10 and watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade while attempting to do some homework. Then I make pie crust while listening to Bing Crosby's White Christmas (this is the only Christmas music allowed, all others must wait until the next day). My dad is the master of the kitchen, cooking the turkey and making all the fixings. Mom and I make the pies, occasionally with a little help from one of the younger siblings, especially Julia. Then around 3:30, my grandparents show up followed by my aunt and uncle. For the past several years, only my cousin Brandyn has been coming, but Robby and Tara may drop in for an hour or two before heading over to Tara's mom's. Dinner is at 4 and is quite the event. Everybody has their specific dish that they bring. My aunt brings creamed corn and cherry delight and Grandma brings cranberry bread and green bean casserole. Everyone feasts and talks and has a wonderful time. I am going to miss all that this year.

This year, I will be having Thanksgiving with my grandfather, who I have not seen since I was a sophomore in high school and my step-grandmother, who I just met for the first time upon arriving in Pearl River. It is her family's Thanksgiving that I am attending. I will know no one except for my grandfather and I am not sure he really counts since I have only seen him about five times in my entire life. It is going to be a completely different experience. I am anticipating feeling very awkward. So far, it hasn't been too bad. I have simply listened to my grandpa talk about how he met Anne and about her family history. To spice things up, I got a brief introduction into how the champions league for soccer in Europe works. The real fun begins tomorrow.

I guess I should not complain. At least I get to spend the holiday with family of some sort. It all just makes me think about how I have somehow grown up. I always knew that the day would come that I would no longer spend holidays at home, but I wasn't ready for it to come so quickly. I thought that it would be preceeded by building a family of my own and the resulting necessity to create new traditions. It just doesn't really seem right to be at this point of life now. While I am an independent individual and always have been, I am still a traditionalist when it comes to the holidays. I like to be with my family and do what we have always done. Thanksgiving doesn't seem to be right without my dad cooking the turkey and my aunt's cherry delight pie to wash it down. At least I do have a loaf of my grandma's cranberry bread. That will make this whole thing easier to bear. It is amazing how far a little taste of home goes at such a time as this.

So as I adjust to new traditions, I will always be thankful for those I have grown up with and I will look a head to the ones that I will make as the years pass. Change is hard, but it can be good. While this year's change wasn't completely desired, I know that it will be helpful in the years to come as I continue to break away from my family and begin to create one of my own. Growing up is a weird thing. You don't really notice it until it has already happened.