On Love and Valentine's Day

While perusing Facebook this afternoon, I came across a friend's status that called Valentine's Day "An excuse to tell those around me that I love and appreciate them." At first I thought that this was a great way to view the day, but upon further reflection it struck me that we shouldn't set aside only one day during which we tell those around us that we love and appreciate them. That should be done as often as possible. The older I get, the more I come to believe that people long for love and affirmation more than anything else. From my theological perspective, I believe this desire comes from our innate longing for relationship with our Creator. As Augustine aptly said so many centuries ago, "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds rest in You." We long to love and know that we are loved. I don't think anyone really ever gets tired of being told that they are appreciated. Granted, I think telling someone that you appreciate them all the time may lessen its weight, however, I think that such communication should take place on more than one day a year.

With that being said, Valentine's Day remains a good reminder to express your love and appreciation for those dear to you. It does not have to be a holiday just for those in romantic relationships. Elementary school V-Day celebrations are a case in point. I remember making valentines for everyone in my class. I loved the holiday because I got to give and receive cards (not to mention, consume a lot of delicious candy). I wish Valentine's Day could remain fun and simple like it was in childhood, rather than becoming just another way to exploit our materialism.

I have never had a "real" Valentine's Day, meaning I have always been single on this day, however, I have been able to find fun ways to spend the day that did not leave me bitter at my lot in life. Last year, I spent time with two wonderful girlfriends of mine that I had not spent quality time with for months. It was a wonderful evening investing in our relationships with one another, especially given the fact that one of those lovely women would be getting married that summer. This year, I spent an Valentine's Day with my best friend at seminary. We did nothing in particular, simply enjoyed one another's company. In the years to come, I think this is the way I want to spend this holiday. Not expecting gifts, flowers, a nice dinner (though those things are nice occasionally), but rather investing in a relationship and simply enjoying the other person. Again, I think that this should be a common occurrence and Valentine's Day does not have to be a special day set aside for it. And maybe I will change my mind when I finally am in a romantic relationship when this "holiday" comes around, but for now, I will continue to see V-day as reminder to love each other, which we should be doing on a regular basis, rather than a day to buy into consumerist ideals and expect gifts.