Missing You... (A Note for Lee)

Today I missed you. I missed you a lot. This week was the Institute for Youth Ministry that we had talked about you coming to so that you could visit me and meet all my friends. I had forgotten about that conversation and the excitement of your coming until the first day of the conference, which also happened to be the two month anniversary of your passing. I hate that you are gone. I miss you so much. It hurts to know that I will never get to see you again until that day I stand before our Lord with you. Though I know that I will see you again, it barely helps to dull the pain. I wish I could see you right now. I wish I could call you and tell about my life. I wish you could have commanded me to get better when I had bronchitis. I wish you could have helped me think through my systematic paper. I wish you could have told me I was crazy for saying I wasn't going to do well on it. I wish you could have given me your "I told you so" talk when I did do well on it. I wish you could have come to IYM. I wish we could have listened to Shane Claiborne speak and then have coffee afterward to talk about what we agreed with and what we disliked. I wish you could have met Henry and Ashton and all of my other friends. I wish you could have intimidated a certain person :). I wish we could play frisbee golf and go swing dancing. I wish I could call you right now and tell you everything I am going through. It's not fair that you left so early. I know I am selfish for wanting to have you here in this broken world rather than in the marvelous light of the kingdom, but this life made more sense and was easier to navigate when I had you here to walk through it with. Now all I have is the memories of our friendship and the adventures we shared. All I can do is hope that those memories do not fade and that the memory of how you lived your life and the guidance you gave me helps to continue to give me direction. I am thankful for the love you showed and the wisdom you passed on during the time I got to spend with you. I am thankful for you friend and I will always miss you.